I'm schmerzing. Nope, not schmoozing, although I did have a gab session with my girlfriend earlier about "schmerzing" and the pros and cons of taking four ibuprofin if you're considering getting pregnant again after two kids and going for "the third." Then we ended with, "I'll have my people call your people," which basically meant, My kids will do lunch with your kids, and we'll make that playdate deal happen.
So, technically, Yes, I was schmerzing and schmoozing simultaneously. If you have absolutely no idea what I am talking about, you can press PLAY now on your DVR and see what Casey Abrams did to make the only interesting American Idol judge do this: Steven Tyler Drops F-Bomb on American Idol. I only wish I could get away with using the bacronym while experiencing some of the worst pelvic pain known to woman-kind outside of childbirth.
For the rest of you ladies who have experienced "the schmerz," the Germans really did a bang-up job when they selected the word, didn't they? Their no-nonsense approach to language makes the sugar-coated French pronunciation of the same thing seem so romantic and all smoke and mirror-like, "L-ovulation." Luh-oh-voo-lah-see-ohn... What kind of French trickery is that? No, the Germans tell it like it is.
Mittelschmerz bluntly means, middle pain. Pain in the middle, middle of the pain, pain during the middle, pain at the middle, pain UP the middle.... schmerzzzzzz.
Yep, the mittel forties are so "F'in" full of fertility, I might just go for the third... slice of pizza, as I fill the hot water bottle again and watch Casey Abrams make television worth something on a schmerzin' Wednesday night.